The Lamb of God - Beheld (part 1)

When my youngest daughter was an infant (she's 7 now), Betsy and I headed off to an old theater in Nashville to hear Andrew Peterson's "Christmas thing." I didn't realize what a life changing experience it would be. Was it a great concert? Sure. But the significance for me - and Betsy, too - was far deeper and continues to influence us and those upon whom we inflict ourselves.

It was my first encounter with Derek Webb, Sandra McCracken, Jill Phillips, Randall Goodgame, Andy Osenga and Andy Gullahorn. These are artists who since then have constantly encouraged me and challenged me with beautiful and intelligent songs. (If you pay attention to my Facebook status posts, you'll see that I quote Sandra often in particular.)

It was Andrew we came to hear, though. (Bonus that the above mentioned folks, plus Phil Keaggy and 2/3 of Nickel Creek, were joining him.) Andrew, you had me from "Gather 'round ye children, come..." - the next 40 minutes were all too brief, but they were filled with truth, beauty, drama, laughter, and life.

This past week, Betsy and I ventured up to Elmhurst and found ourselves blessed again. Some of the usual suspects were with Andrew - Jill, the Andys, Ben Shive. No Derek or Sandra, though. We joked that the part of Derek Webb was being played by Brandon Heath - but certainly don't mean to disparage him. His songs and performance were captivating, and we didn't miss Derek as much as I would have thought.

The first half of the show was "in the round." Betsy and I, after living in Nashville for a decade, are well-versed in this singer/songwriter showcase technique. Basically, they each take turns playing a song. The first round of songs was very good - kudos to Andy Gullahorn's humorous distillation of the Nashville country music formula called "Working Man." The next round was more breathtakingly poignant. Gullahorn's "Someone to You" was delicate and moving. Heath's "Not Who I Was" fit right in the same vein.

It was Ben Shive's second song, "Rise Up", that resonated with Betsy and I. It begins:

Every stone that makes you stumble
and cuts you when you fall
Every serpent here that strikes your heel
to curse you when you crawl
The King of Love one day will crush them all

We just read the Last Battle by C.S. Lewis to our girls, and the bridge of Shive's song struck us very profoundly:

And when the stars come crashing to the sea
and the high and mighty fall down on their knees
When you see the Son descending in the sky
the chains of death will fall around your feet

As soon as the song was over we turned to each other and said, "We have to buy that CD." That's why she's my Betsy.

The three Andys played a final song - one of Osenga's called "I'm On Your Side." There was musical magic as they each played acoustic guitar in a different tuning or capo postition and harmonized on the chorus. But it was the lyrics that got me - a testament to a friend who displays inctedible strength through trials and how it inspires one to find new levels of devotion.

Then came the intermission. Ten minutes later the whole crew came out and started playing "It Is Well With My Soul." After an a capella ending, Andrew read these words from the Jesus Storybook Bible:

"It's like an adventure story about a young Hero who came from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It's a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne, everything to rescue the one he loves. It's like the most wonderful of fairy tales that have come true in real life.You see, the best thing about this story is--it's true.

It takes the whole Bible to tell this story. And at the center of the Story there is a baby. Every story in the Bible whispers his name. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle--the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together and suddenly you can see a beautiful picture.

And this is no ordinary baby. This is the Child upon whom everything would depend. This is the baby that would one day--but wait, our story starts where all good stories start. Right at the very beginning..."

(part 2 coming soon...)

25 Albums that Explain a Bit About Me - musically, at least

I'm home sick with a fever and a screaming sore throat, and I will allow myself to waste a bit of time. Here they are - and not in order, per se. (I stole this idea from Chris Cooke.)

1. Chicago: Chicago 5 - This is the first record I ever bought with my own money for my own awful record player. It had horns, which I could relate to because I grew up listening to jazz. It also had one of the world's most under-appreciated guitarists in Terry Kath. Most significantly though, let me remind everyone that before Peter Cetera was a huge milque-toast pop star, he was an amazingly melodic and inventive bass player. I learned how to play bass from old Chicago albums full of catchy tunes and astonishingly adventurous arrangements. Whenever I see this album cover, I'm transported back to a cold, gray fall day and the anticipation of getting my new record home from K-mart. My mom couldn't have possibly driven fast enough.

2. Eagles: Hotel California - Pretty near perfect - too much so for some folks - but for me it was another step into rock music. In addition to jazz, I also heard a lot of country growing up, and the Eagles bridged the gap for me. My favorite moments are the ballad "Wasted Time" and the guitar solo in "Try and Love Again", but there's no way I'll change the radio station if "Victim of Love" or the guitar solo section of "Hotel California" is on.

3. Rush: Hemispheres - When I started playing in bands, all the older, discriminating musicians (who were, ironically, 16 or 17 years old) held Rush in highest esteem. It took me a while to get used to Geddy's voice, but WOW! - the bass and drums! Amazing! The lyrical material was ambitious, and the musical arrangements were heavy-yet-quirky in the best possible way. Hemispheres is my favorite, because it bridges the territory from "old Rush" to "Moving Pictures era" Rush quite perfectly. When I hear "La Villa Strangiata" I'm transported back to many awful basement jam sessions.

4. Kansas: Leftoverture - Again, this was pretty heady and progressive music, so I was drawn to it after Chicago and Rush. The lyrics were obviously written by someone on a spiritual quest, and that resonated with me. Every aspect of the musicianship was top notch. Steve Walsh may have been at his peak as a vocalist, and I don't think there is anyone who has topped him.

5. Charlie Peacock: The Secret of Time - And now for something completely different... I like to think of this as progressive pop R&B. A perfect synthesis of pop hooks, deep and meaningfully Christian lyrics, and a few unorthodox arrangements keep this one sounding fresh 21 years later. Nobody - NOBODY - has made a better album than this one, with a possible exception...

6. Whiteheart: Freedom - The best "Christian Rock" album ever made. They were never as good before or after, but the synergy on Freedom is amazing. Free from hokeyness and studio over-indulgence, the band and the songs speak for themselves.

7. The Beatles: Abbey Road - My local FM station used to play the closing medley ("You Never Give Me Your Money" through "The End) late at night. I was enthralled by the songs - meaningless ditties though they were. Catchy, well-crafted and a great balance of "real" vs. perfect. This album covers a lot of territory musically, and it's all memorable.

8. Boston: Boston - The sonic standard for all hard rock and pop metal for decades to come. I tried for years to duplicate the layers of guitars and still leave space for the bass and drums, but Tom Scholz's standards are unattainable - even by himself. He never got it any better than this one.

9. Bryan Adams: Cuts Like a Knife - One the few albums I own on record, cassette and CD. Is it pop? Yeah, but it's got a rough edge to it. Did the girls like it? You betcha. Did I try to sing like him and write songs like him? Yep. Did I have ulterior motives? Sorta - but I would've loved this album regardless of whether or not chicks dug Bryan Adams.

10. U2: The Joshua Tree - Predictable you say? Maybe, but it's the first U2 album I fell in love with. My favorite U2 song will probably always be "In God's Country" - even though I didn't really figure out what it was about until a few months ago. Epic anthems and pensive, introspective ballads full of angst, hope, desperation and truth. Lofty words are appropriate to describe this one.

11. Vigilantes of Love: Blister Soul - This one changed my life musically. Folk-rock with Dylan quality lyrics (sorry to offend you Dylan fans). I discovered that it was more important to write good songs and play them how you wanted rather than trying to find what someone else thought was right. The production is under par a few times, but the songwriting is unparalleled. If Bill Mallonee had only written "Skin" he make it near the top of my list of greatest living songwriters.

12. Vigilantes of Love: Audible Sigh - Because I really can't decide which is my favorite. I was first captured by Blister Soul, but Audible Sigh is probably a better album. The songs are just as brilliant, but the production and musicianship are far better. There are always bittersweet moments on a Bill Mallonee album, but this one is heart-wrenching in mostly good ways. Unfortunately, he had to change some lines in "Nothing Like a Train" after his divorce - and I'm likely to cry when the last verse of that one comes around.

13. Rich Mullins: A Legacy, a Liturgy, and a Ragamuffin Band - No secret that I'm a Rich Mullins fan. This is Rich at his most authentic, showing us that there's more to being God's musician than trying to wrap some cheapened "gospel" message in a crappy 3 minute pop song. It's challenging, yet reassuring. Lofty, yet earthy. Just like Rich. Just like Jesus and his Church. "Peace" is a perfect song, and my favorite musical embodiment of what happens when we meet around the Table of the Lord.

14. Andrew Peterson: Behold the Lamb of God (The True Tall Tale of the Coming of the Christ) - I heard from my friend Mark about Andrew's "Christmas thing", so the next year we went to an old theater and experienced the greatest musical retelling of the Incarnation that I have ever heard. Musical and lyrical genius. Whimsy, irony, longing, celebration, and worship. Just beautiful. "Labor of Love" stands out on an album of amazing songs thanks in part to Jill Phillips vocals, but "Deliver Us" and "Behold the Lamb of God" are equally wonderful.

15. Danny Wilde: The Boyfriend - This one was kinda like "Cuts Like a Knife, vol. 2". Danny's vocals are a bit thinner, and there are a few alt-country overtones, but this is a great bunch of pop-rock songs for the hopelessly romantic 20-something singer/guitarist in the late 80s. I wore out 2 cassettes, and found a record of it which I've yet to open. It has the distinction of being the last major label release that DIDN"T come out on CD. Too bad, because it's just as good as any Brian Adams album.

16. Bad Company: Bad Company - I never tire of Paul Rodgers' singing. This will always be my standard for a great all-around rock album.

17. Del Amitri: Change Everything - A Scottish band that is just simply not as well-known as they should be. Another PERFECT album - hook after hook, but no fluff. AND they rock, too. One of my saddest moments is when my tape got accidentally thrown away while I was moving to Nashville in '93. Don't worry - I've since gotten the CD.

18. Extreme: Three Sides to Every Story - Another casualty of the move - I've got the CD, but the cassette actually has an additional song that fills in a missing part of the story. These guys really rose above the rest of the pop metal crowd, but this was something different entirely. There was jazz and hip-hop - and even some very Eagles-meet-Pet Sounds era-Beach Boys stuff. But it mostly ROCKS. As to the story, there are three parts: Yours (politically and socially conscious songs), Mine (romantic and introspective songs) and the Truth (overtly Biblical songs). It doesn’t flow perfectly, but it’s ambitious and has a frightening amount of high points.

19. Derek Webb: She Must and Shall Go Free - From the first mandolin pick-up notes, I knew I was going to establish a long-term relationship with this album. It may be my absolute favorite album of all time, because it resonates with me on so many different levels - particularly the musical style and the theme of God’s faithful love for his Church. Two of my three favorite songs on it (“Take to the World” and “Awake My Soul”) aren’t even written by Webb, but his versions are more inspired and heart-felt than the others. It’s bold, sobering, yet not without a sense of humor. Please try to make another one like this, Derek.

20. Let's Active: Big Plans for Everybody - Lots of people are REM fans. Not going to malign them for that, but I wonder if they’ve ever heard Let’s Active. This was my favorite band for a couple years in the late 80s. Mitch Easter (the only permanent member) produced early REM albums, but really shines on his own compositions. The vocals aren’t magic like the Stipe/Mills combination, but everything else is more musically compelling than most of REM’s catalog. This album is a sprawling ‘80s college rock masterpiece. Take that, Violent Femmes and Hüsker Dü.

21. Styx: Pieces of Eight - I almost chose the Grand Illusion. Maybe even Crystal Ball. What I liked about Styx was similar to what I liked about Chicago - there were multiple lead vocalists and songwriters. Personally, I wanted to be Tommy Shaw - his songs went from folk to rock. I learned all his parts - acoustic and electric. “Blue Collar Man”? ‘Nuff said.

22. Triumph: Thunder Seven - Another one of several “concept albums” that I’ve listed. Like Tommy Shaw, Rik Emmett was a master guitarist. I preferred Tommy’s feel and tone, but I couldn’t ignore Rik’s absolute skill and versatility. Thunder Seven is the most even of Triumph’s albums, and I won’t say it doesn’t have a low point, but the way it wrestled philosophically with the concept of time was very profound to me in my pre-christian worldview.

23. Kim Hill: Talk About Life - When I heard the first song, “Inside of You”, I thought it was a new Whiteheart song. Indeed, it had 3 of Whiteheart’s musicians playing on it, but - if anything - Kim’s dusky alto was richer and more mysterious than Ric Florian’s wailing tenor, and the band was playing in a really cool, atmospheric style. I started to take female singers very seriously at this point. Check out “Snakes in the Grass” - amazing song! Two of the songs were written by a then unknown guy named Wes King, and I became a huge fan of his, too.

24. Susan Ashton: Wakened by the Wind - Hats off to Wayne Kirkpatrick (who also produced Kim Hill). This is a masterpiece of perfect folky/rocky pop songs. MASTERPIECE. The usual suspects are in the band, but they change their style on this one a bit. Susan’s voice is what I call the “girl next door” voice. There’s only a little distinctive character to it, but it’s so good you don’t care.

25. John Kilzer: Memory in the Making - My final entry, and another dark horse. This guy has an amazing gritty, soulful voice and he’s a fine tunesmith. This album was produced in a late 80s pop-rock vein, but there’s enough rough edges on it to make it quite urgent sounding. Probably better than Bryan Adams and Danny Wilde put together.

Ones that didn’t make the cut, and probably because I didn’t think about it long enough: Tonic: Lemon Parade and Sugar, Led Zeppelin I through IV, Sandra McCracken: The Builder and the Architect, Stone Temple Pilots: Purple, Jill Phillips: Nobody’s God it All Together, Brooke Fraser: Albertine, and probably dozens of others...

Can a Song Be an Instrument of Discipleship?

My short answer: yes.

The longer answer...

I view songs that testify to God's nature, his work, and our response to it as vehicles to facilitate worship and discipleship. My main caveat is that these songs need to be theologically sound (i.e. biblical) and well crafted lyrically and musically. Depending on what's happening in my own little corner of the world, different songs can challenge me, comfort me, and lead me to follow more closely the One who invites me to pick up a cross and follow his narrow/easy/difficult/beautiful/harrowing/rewarding path.

Over the last couple months, and several weeks in particular, I keep coming back to an old hymn rewritten by Sandra McCracken. (It's a favorite of my wife's, too.) It tells of an all-sufficient, all-pervasive love, and a Savior who is his own reward. May it bless your journey as you follow him.

Grace Upon Grace

In every station, new trials and troubles call for more grace than I can afford

Where can I go but to my dear Savior for mercy that pours from boundless stores

Grace upon grace every sin repaired, every void restored - you will find Him there

In every turning He will prepare you with grace upon grace

He made a way for the fallen to rise; perfect in glory and sacrifice

In sweet communion my need He supplies

He saves and keeps and guards my life

To Thee I run now with great expectation to honor you with trust like a child

My hopes and desires seek a new destination

And all that You ask your grace will provide

Boredom and Adventure

The Lewis family really enjoyed Up. Our reasons were different, though. The girls liked the visual feast and layers of humor ("Squirrel!"), but Betsy and I found it to be touching - both sad and heartwarming. It's full of themes of loyalty and redemption, but, most significantly for us, adventure.

A little over 14 years ago, Betsy and I crafted our own marriage vows. In addition to pledging our faithfulness regardless of finances and health, we declared our commitment to stay together through both boredom and adventure.

Betsy's grandmother thought that was just awful. Betsy and I thought it was realistic.

But we crave the adventure - we've had plenty. Mostly good. I pray God grants us even more.

Uncomfortably Numb

Yesterday I got a call from an old friend. Her youngest brother, for reasons unknown to me, committed suicide. I took a long walk, pondered and prayed. Most troubling to me is the lack of emotion I feel. May God grant his peace--beyond my comprehension--to this family.

I confess that the idea of having peace in this time escapes my grasp on a variety of levels--except the faith I have in God's ability to do more than I can imagine. So I keep asking him to do that which he does best - the things that are beyond me.

These past few weeks have seen a convergence of seemingly grave situations in the lives of those around me. Over the past 20 years I have learned this, however: difficult circumstances can bring people to deeper levels of faith. We're instructed by scripture to face trials with joy, because they ultimately lead to godly maturity. So I continue to pray that God will protect my own family from harm - but not necessarily from hardship.

That's a topic for another day.

Jeff Street, May 24th 2009

Jeff Street doesn't closely follow the Christian Year - the liturgical calendar used by many in "High Church" circles. This week was a bit of an exception - we took advantage of this being Ascension Sunday to revisit some passages in Hebrews that emphasize Christ's present role as our Intercessor - our Great High Priest before the throne of God the Father.

Dustin broke the message into three sections that dug into the implications of Christ's Incarnation (past), his Intercession (present), and his Return (future). The planning team concluded that a variety of readings and songs should be used in each section to allow us to proclaim God's truth and respond to it.

All Because of Jesus was our first song - thanks to Alex for introducing it to us.

Leading into the first point, the text that we chose was 1 John 1:1-4. I explained that John wrote this to a church that was in danger of forgetting who Jesus was, and I added the hopeful prayer "May that never be said of us."

Then Dustin began to remind us of our identification with Christ because he was not just 100% God BUT ALSO 100% man. In response we sang My Savior, My God - the lyrics of which testify not only to his death in our place, but that he "lives to be our King." Like most of the songs in this service, it fits into what I think of as the "rock hymn" genre, which suited the strengths of the singers and musicians who were accompanying the congregation.

The focal point of this week showed up in the middle section, where Dustin emphasized how Christ's perfect intercession--his loving and all-knowing prayers on our behalf--continues to strengthen us. We read Hebrews 4:14-16 in order to remind ourselves of the confidence we have in Christ's continuing work and then sang Before the Throne of God Above (I particularly like the 3rd verse):

Behold Him there the Risen Lamb
My perfect spotless Righteousness
The great unchangeable I Am
The King of Glory and of grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

There you go - Ascension Sunday encapsulated in a song (and a beautiful one, at that).

This set the tone for the Lord's Supper - although we are unworthy, we are loved and bought, redeemed, adopted, grafted, etc. into God's family.

Dustin then focused on the encouragement Christ's return should bring us. All the things that are not right will be made right someday by the righteous might of our just and loving God. In second service, Dustin was noticeably moved as he preached this portion and my eyes were starting to get a bit damp, too.

We responded again to what God has done/is doing/will do by singing Hallelujah! What a Saviour. The verses were written in 1875 by Phillip R. Bliss, and they focus mostly on Christ's death in our place, but they also speak of his resurrection and ascension and return. (In the first service we began experiencing some technical problems - more on that later.)

A time of reflection followed, as the music team performed Somewhere in the Middle. The song paints a picture of the lukewarm, distracted, uncommitted existence so many people dwell in and even the Church so easily falls into. Our challenge is to live lives of faith, wholly devoted to God. This led into Christ's call to follow him from Luke 9:23-25.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?"

Jesus doesn't give us much room for staying in that supposedly safe middle ground.

Jesus Paid It All was the last song we sang. Certainly a great old hymn, but the new ending refrain is simple and powerful: "O praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead."

As a final reminder of who we once were and who we have now become in Christ, we read Ephesians 2:1-10.

Now, about the technical difficulties in first service: after the first couple songs it became obvious that the bass guitar wasn't working. This caused a bit of a domino effect - mostly on my part as I tried to play more low notes than I had originally planned. I'm glad we're not often subjected to equipment failures, computer glitches and the like. When they do occur, the folks on stage and in the sound booth usually cover so well that most people don't notice - this week I'm afraid it was a noticeable distraction. My apologies.

The encouragement I found was in the way that the team came together to solve the problem. I thanked God for surrounding me with such helpful people as we performed electronic surgery with a soldering iron backstage. May we all encourage others by working so selflessly together.

Finally, let me encourage you to leave any comments or ask any questions you'd like. I plan on writing these articles at least for the summer, and your input will help me to improve.

Enamored of a Song

I thought it was full
But it was halfway to the top
Love is an ocean and I am a tiny cup

And it's taken me over
Taken me over
And the heart I thought was full was halfway

I've been a fan of Sandra McCracken for a couple years now, but today a song I'd heard before has new meaning for me. When asked, I pretty consistently tell folks that my life is full, and I am blessed and thankful. This has been a week of immeasurable fullness - good, bad and everything in between.

This week I have beheld the surprising splendor of God's redemptive power in the life of one of his Beloved. This week I have more deeply realized what treasures are entrusted to me as the husband and father of my precious girls. This week I learned of the hardships and struggles of others dear to me, from job loss to cancer.

I often struggle to get alone with God and pray. Not this week. God has tangibly drawn me to him.

Sounds strange, I know. Would've sounded strange to me a week ago, too. But that was before I learned that the heart I thought was full was only halfway.

Watch the video of "Halfway" by Sandra McCracken

Making a set list

I'm picking songs for a benefit Friday night. Coffeehouse mode, me thinks. Fifteen minutes to fill - call it 4, maybe 5, songs. Just me and a guitar (or two for alternate tunings). Just doing songs I really like. Songs that I don't have to think too much about.

Possibilities:

No Easy Answers (Kathleen Howell)
Skin (Bill Mallonee)
Double Cure (ibid.)
Beloved (Derek Webb)
With Apologies to Thomas (me)
Just As I Am (Andrew Peterson)
Serve Hymn (ibid.)
Refuge (Matthew Perryman Jones)
Every Grain of Sand (Dylan)

Any other ideas?

(Got a song for me, John?)

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya...

I've heard this phrase in several leadership/management classes/seminars:

"You're not a leader unless someone is following you."

This makes me wonder: Are you a teacher if noone is learning from you?

In our American low-church culture we assign the title of teacher to folks who are officially in charge of a class or small group. We also consider those who are able to regurgitate vast amounts of information to be "gifted" as teachers. To paraphrase Inigo Montoya, "We keep using that word. I do not think it means what we think it means."

I think that many who we call teacher fall into one of these two categories:

1. Those who accept a position as teacher because they feel like they really should be doing something.

2. Those who have an innate ability to store innumerable facts in their grey matter and call it up on request (or on a misguided whim).

Perhaps we need to consider how to nurture, equip and motivate those who have a heart for imparting truth: those who might actually teach those who seek to learn from them. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I suspect that it's worth pondering. Don't you?

The Return

I'm back.

Not that I've been gone. Just busy. I don't like being busy.

You see, I'm the pondering sort; the reflective type; the one who likes to process things mentally, emotionally, and spiritually (not to mention relationally).

What I am becoming more aware of now are the the thematic links that God weaves into our journey. For example: Alex (Mr. Intern #1) and I have been reading The Divine Conspiracy. Willard (the author) is going to great lengths to build his case for Jesus coming for more than just the answer to "how do I go to heaven when I die?" (There is indeed more to being a Christian than being forgiven.) I then notice that Dustin is closing his sermon with "Because Jesus has offered forgiveness to us, we can be empowered to live an inside-out kind of life."

Indeed. There's life abundant. A life where the Living God joins with us on a journey that does not end with time; a life even now that is beyond our imagining. It's not meant to sound grandiose--I mean that life is more and more real when lived in fellowship with Reality and those who have also caught a glimpse of him and follow the narrow (yet winding and beautiful) path.